A couple weeks ago, I went on a retreat with the young adults from church.  It was an amazing time to getting to know people and enjoying God's beautiful creation.  I would go back in a heartbeat.  That weekend 2 guys shared their testimony and I was inspired by their strength and vulnerability to share their story with others.  I realized after they shared that I need to own my story.  I do to an extent but not completely.  I am been trying to write my testimony since this summer and for some reason I can never really finish it.  Sometimes I feel like I don't have much of a story to tell.  But I also realize each person is part of a puzzle that God is creating and with out our stories/lives the puzzle will never be complete.  Part of it is that I don't want to make people look bad who have wronged me in my life but it is part of my story and who I am.  The other day I realized that I need to take another approach to writing my story, it's not about what who has wronged me and what I have been through.  It's about God and what he has done in my life and where he has brought me to.  God is molding me into a work of art.  And with every trial that I face in life it is part of him molding me into a beautiful woman of God.  I am still trying to figure what all it means to own my story and this is the first step.  And in the near future I want to finish my testimony and glorify God through it.  I believe that God will use my story in some shape or form to help others in their walk with him.  We all have a story and each story is as equally important as someone else's.      

I got bored so I decided to do the survey.  I hadn't done one in a while.  Life is good on my end.  Things are going better than they were the last couple weeks.  Christmas is fastly approaching.  I am not as excited about Christmas this year as I was last year.  I am not sure why but I think I jsut haven't got into the Christmas spirit yet.  It will come yet, it always does.  I love Christmas and what it represents. 

I just got done reading a book called Out of Islam by Christopher Alam.  In this book it talks about his life and what he has endorred (sp?) in order to stand up for Christianity.  He went through persecution because of his faith and he also saw many different miracles.  After reading this book I had to think where would I be if I had to go through all he went through.  Where would my faith be?  Then I thought what would my life look like if I truly surrendered my life to God and followed him no questions asked.  Where would I be if I was not born in America, where it is comfortable and I am not persecuted for my faith.  This past couple weeks at church we have been talking about practical atheism.  That is when you say believe in God but you life as you believe in God.  This something that has plagued our American culture.  I believe one reason that we have this problem is because we do not have to stand up for our faith and we are able to get away with practical atheism.  And along with practical atheism comes with being a lukewarm Christian.  We don't not wanna believe in God but we don't want to give our life over completely becaus we ar worried about we will have to change in our life.  We are comfortable with where we are and we know that if we are on fire for God then he will turn our life inside out and he will ruin our life.  Why are we so comfortable being medicore for Christ?  He only sent his only son to die for us and save us from our sin, so that we can enjoy God's grace.  And we take this so lightly, we don't completely understand it but as long as we are on this side of heaven.  This is something that God has been challenging me on, I think have allowed my self to become a medicore/lukewarm Christian.  And in realizing this is not ok with me and I can only pray that I do not allow myself to stay here. 

On another note, this whole thing about bailing out the auto companies annoy me.  This is about a bad business practice.  I unserstand that we would lose many jobs if they would go under but this is teaching them that it is ok to bail out businesses when they make bad decisions.  What about us Americans who no longer feel like paying our bills, who is going to bail us out?  Our economy is where it is because of many factors but one major factor is that they loaned money to people who did not have the money in the beginning.  That is why out housing market is where it is right now.  If we continue to bail out every business that is in trouble will they learn anything from it and how are we going to pay for it all?  Because or money supply is not endless.  Anyway I needed to vent.  In the end all this will work out because God is in control and he knows what he is doing.